Munroe Falls mother has used her grief to help others in the years since her son died

Christine Moncheck has turned a tragedy into a triumph.

Moncheck, who lives in the Stow-Munroe Falls area, lost her 18-year-old son Andrew eight years ago in an automobile crash caused by an alcohol-impaired driver.

“We went from planning his high school graduation party to planning his funeral in the blink of an eye. As you can imagine, that changed our whole family dynamic, our future, and it was very devastating for our family and friends,” Moncheck said. “It just wasn’t how it was supposed to be. It was out of the natural order of things. You never think something like that would happen to you.”

Since then, she has dedicated her life to helping others through her work in several charities that provide comfort and support for people who have suffered similar losses.

“The truth is, tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Experiencing the ultimate loss sent me on a path of seeking answers that there had to be more and there had to be a way of healing.”

Moncheck is heavily involved with three organizations that have helped her own healing process and that of other people dealing with similar loss. The three institutions are The Magic of Life Foundation, The Christmas Box Angel of Hope Children’s Memorial, and Helping Parents Heal.

“For me,” said Moncheck, “it’s been a journey of just kind of discovering what works and what resonates and what doesn’t. I then began to really kind of serve the community because that seemed to be what helped me to honor our son’s memory and to provide hope and inspiration for others. It took a couple of years for me to start getting active with my philanthropy, although I never thought of it in that way. I just wanted to help people in the same situation.

“Initially, within the first year into 2015, I started to meet one-on-one with other mothers who had lost a child because it seemed to me that it was the only thing that was helping, to have a person sitting across from me who knew exactly what I was going through. Then, 2016 was when I felt like I could start helping others.”

That is when Moncheck began to share Andrew’s story through The Magic of Life Foundation. The foundation was created by Michael Gershe in memory of his mother Barbara, whom he lost in a drunk-driving crash when he was an infant.

“It’s an impaired-driving prevention program that’s in partnership with our local Stow court system for those who have offended, been driving under the influence of either alcohol or drugs,” Moncheck said. “I started talking about Andrew’s story through that program with Michael, and it gave a perspective of a son losing his mother and then a mother losing a son to impaired driving. So in sharing that story locally, we hope to help these impaired-driving offenders to make better choices in their own lives before they get behind the wheel of a car driving impaired so that it hopefully gives them a perspective that this could happen to them, too.”

The program is held at the Stow Municipal Court once a month, and Moncheck said it makes a difference and saves lives.

“There have been some people we’ve spoken to who would approach us directly after the program is over, and they’ll tell us, ‘You’ve changed my life. This has really given me a different outlook, and I’d really like to make better choices going forward.’ They’d say things like, ‘I have kids at home, and I don’t want to leave them without a parent or vice versa.’ Sometimes they even keep in touch with us to let us know how they’re doing. If we reach one person, then that’s a good day,” she said.

Later in 2016, Moncheck joined the Friends of the Angel Committee, which is for The Christmas Box Angel of Hope Children’s Memorial located at Silver Springs Cemetery in Stow.

“It’s a wonderful memorial,” Moncheck said. “Sara Ruble and a dedicated group of bereaved parents founded and fundraised for the memorial in 2001 that brought the Angel to Silver Springs Cemetery. At that time in 2016, Sara was going to be doing more speaking engagements throughout the United States and needed someone to take over the memorial brick orders in honor of children who have passed away too soon. So I started doing that to help her and our committee. Every committee member has experienced the loss of a child or grandchild. There are memorial brick orders that come in through our website or the mail. Those bricks are lovingly placed and dedicated with a brief but meaningful ceremony with family and friends gathered at the angel in the spring and fall of each year. Order forms are also available in the box located by the Angel Memorial.

“It doesn’t matter how old the children were or how they died or how long it’s been. If an adult child dies, a brick can be put in for them. It’s not even only for Stow residents. There have been bricks placed there for children all over the world. It’s really an amazing, peaceful and healing place for parents to go and grieve.”

The bricks are four inches by eight inches and are inscribed with what the family wants it to say. Each brick costs $100. There are more than 700 bricks that are already inscribed.

“We have room for more, although the less we have, the better, of course,” Moncheck said, adding that if an order comes in for a group remembrance such as a school shooting, a brick is laid for that, too. “Last fall, there was someone from Utah who wanted to have a brick at each angel location in remembrance of her child. There are other angel memorials throughout the United States. I’ve also had some elderly parents who lost a baby when they were younger, and they wanted a brick placed in their child’s memory nearly 40 years later.

“It’s a beautiful way to connect and remember a loved one. Whereas people used to want to grieve privately, I think more and more people these days want to have their grief validated, and people want to be seen and heard and to have their loved ones remembered. I think, in some ways, that helps people to heal and know they are not alone. Healing doesn’t mean that you get over it, it means that you learn and grow from it and make peace as you live your life, and that’s really what our loved ones would want for us.”

The Angel of Hope statue is located in a peaceful area of Silver Springs Cemetery. At Christmastime, there is a worldwide candle lighting in memory of the children.

In 2019, Moncheck founded the Akron-Cleveland chapter of Helping Parents Heal, an international nonprofit created by Elizabeth Boisson and Mark Ireland in 2012. The local chapter meets monthly.

“We aspire to help individuals become Shining Light parents, which means simply shifting from a state of emotional heaviness and one of hopelessness into a greater peace of mind,” said Moncheck. “We go a step beyond other groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and afterlife evidence in a non-dogmatic way.

“If the Northeast Ohio group is local to you, then there are usually in-person meetings at different places between Akron and Cleveland. If not, there are Zoom meetings available, especially during the winter months. Meetings and special events are communicated on our private Facebook page or via email for those who are not on social media. On our main Facebook page, we have a variety of speakers weekly that are recorded and can also be viewed on our YouTube channel at any time. We have an amazing team of dedicated, caring listeners, too, who are available to talk with grieving parents. If you lost a grandchild or a sibling, you are still welcome to attend.”

There are sub-groups within Helping Parents Heal for grieving dads; parents who lost an only child; and people who have lost children to specific causes such as special-needs complications, cancer, and addiction or suicide. These meetings take place through a private Facebook group via Zoom.

Moncheck feels very strongly about her philanthropy work.

“I now live with intention, turning my own pain into purpose by being a light to others,” she said. “The goal of all of this is to help people. I think sometimes people just feel so lost and alone and don’t know where to go because that’s how I felt in the beginning.

“You kind of find your tribe among the people out there who understand, those who have been down this road and have walked in your shoes. I’m so grateful to those ahead of me on this journey and for being my light in the darkest time of my life. It’s just a meaningful way to support others and also help yourself through your own grief. There’s no way around it. You have to go through it, but you don’t have to go through it alone! It’s definitely a unique journey, losing a child.”

If you have experienced the loss of a child, sibling or grandchild and would like a list of resources, please contact Christine at [email protected].